In worse pain today.  I think Cinder knew.  She snuggled with me all night.  Her cuddles are special.

    I had trouble getting out of bed all night.  I think every joint in my body hurt.  I am in a sad "why me" mood so will say no more.  No one understands, no one helps, no one cares, just the life of someone with a chronic disease.

    I cancelled today around 10am.  No work & no supper out.  I hurt so bad I did not care who got upset with me.  Too bad for them.

    I slept extra late but my nap left a lot to be desired.  Short & not too restful.

    Hot again today.  In the 90s.  At least not too sticky outside & a light breeze.  Maybe rain later.  Ha.

    The prairie grasses look different to me this year.  There are some that are almost blue.  Makes for a nice scene with different colors of grasses.  Nice to hear birds in the trees.  Our turkey vultures were no where near today.  They never checked out Nico & I !

    I posted a photo with a winter theme.  Any hurtful comments will be deleted.

    I started a group about my town a few years ago.  There are now over 6,000 members.  I have let things slide for a while & am tired of it.  Either follow the rules or suffer the results.  One lady even argued with me today.  She needs to learn to read.

    Photos were going to be all peonies.  But I got busy playing with photos & then found some old ones I had edited.  That is what I am sharing.

                        

30 may, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    Too hot for me today.  Glad to stay in the house.  I saw around 96F but the humidity was not real high.  That helps.

    Started my day with groceries at Dillons in Salina.  Got food again!!

    Been texting with my grandson MM often today.  His mother has been moved out of ICU to a room.  More comfortable for family & for her also.  The waiting is the hardest.  And family.  How well I remember.  If I knew what I know now while Willie was dying, I would have cleared the room & just stayed there alone.

    I did help my grandson get a cemetery plot for his mom today.  His father is buried near Willie & I.  She will be also.  Good to be buried near those we know or know of.

    I tried to nap on the sofa but my entire body was in RA pains.  Nico & I finally relocated to the bed.  Then I felt better.  He must have also!

    There are thunderstorms near but all south of us.  Oh for a thunderstorm & rain here.  Not today.  Not tomorrow.

    Photos are flowers but the first two are from the art show I worked at on sunday.  One is an iron one that a good friend & uncle of my nephew made.  Great work!  The other is a huge dragon!  It is incredible!  Love them both.  It is by far the best art show I have ever seen.

                    

 

29 may, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    Too hot today.  OK in the house but outside with Nico was hot.  It was over 90F today. 

    The hot day made me think of the post I did on the days would be getting longer soon.  My cousin made a fun reply & I answered him.  The rest of the posts were hateful to me.  I deleted them all today.  They hurt.  Sad they can voice their opinions but I cannot.  Nice.  No fun when others show their true colors.

    Cinder went out this morning & not seen her since.  Laying somewhere out of the sun, hoping to keep cool.

    Rain all around but never here.

    JS just video chatted with me.  Nice to see him & chat.  Made my day.

    Bad news today.  My grandson MM's mother is now in hospice care & dying.  He has a GoFundMe account to help pay for funeral, etc.  I wish there was something I could do for him.  It is so difficult in his situation.  Both my parents died fast but Willie lingered for almost a week.  I only left once to get Nico to board him out.  I never left again.  I would not let him die alone.  JS made sure we always had a large bottle of Pepsi in the room for me.  And several people brought food into us.

    Photos are ones I have taken --- flowers, flags at the cemetery, Nico at Willie's new grave, & old life photos.  Been an ok day.

                    

28 may, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    I did not blog yesterday.  I was too tired from my anxiety pill.  Slept most of the day & early to bed.  Slept good last night.

    Yesterday I went to Salina with my grandson MM, his significant other KW, & my third great grandson SM.  It was KW's birthday.  We ate at Ya Ya's.  My first time there.  Good food.  Such a nice meal with people I love & who love me.  I am blessed.

    Today was a work day at the SVAFC.  This is the best art show I have ever seen.  All art is done by local people.  Just awesome.  I will share a couple of photos tomorrow.  I had a friend from out of town come in.  We talk on FB often but so nice to see him in person.  The last person to come in we a sweet lady.  As we talked we realized we knew many of the same people.  What a great talk we had.  I liked her a lot.

    Picked up JR after work & went to both cemeteries again.  I totally forgot to put flowers on my great great grandparents.  There are other relatives I should decorate.  Try to be more organized next year.  My nephew always puts a bouquet of wheat on Willie's grave.  Nice.  Someone planted flowers behind his grave.  Very sweet.  No idea who did it.  Everyone always liked Willie.

    Rain in the area.  Doubt it rains here.  Dang.

    Forgot.  My grand nephew mowed my yard 2 days ago.  Very nice.

    Photos are flower photos I have taken.

                    

25 may, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    Did not get a lot of sleep last night.  Thanks to Cinder.  IF she had just curled up to sleep.  But no.  She kept needing cuddling.  And it kept me awake.  I got up early, at lunch early, & had time for a nap. 

    JR & I went to the cemetery in town & put flowers on graves.  Pretty there.  Mom had a twin that was born dead.  No one ever bought her a headstone or put flowers in her vicinity.  So I got her a headstone.  It is small but nice.  I got a vase for her grave & this year she has a huge bouquet of flowers.  Mom loved sunflowers so both graves have sunflowers.  Poor baby girl.  Wish they had named her.

    I stopped on the way home to put flowers on Willie's grave & my friend John's grave.  Some sweet angel has planted flowers behind Willie's grave.  Very nice.  Shared a photo.  I forgot a grave at that cemetery so must go back.  Might go to Falun & put flowers on Willie's mother's grave.  She died when he was 6 years old.  And he died on her birthday.  She is kind of forgotten also.

    Supper was at Jalisco's.  MA's parents have left for a few days.  I miss them!  His mom does live videos all the time.  I made a comment on one & she saw it!  She had invited me to ride with them.  But too many pets & no time to board them.  But in the future.......??

    Nice weather today.  Cooling breeze & no humidity.  Perfect.

    I posted about in another month the days start getting shorter.  Summer lovers have no sense of humor.  Or to care how other's feel.  I was put down my several "friends".  OK for them to rave on & on how they love the hottest of weather, etc.  Won't stop me.  I could delete a couple if I wanted to.  The heat & humidity make me feel sick.  Sorry.

    My lost friend wants to chat tonight.  Called once but he was talking to someone else.  He will call back.  He says.  I will wait.  I am not begging.  Either he wants to talk or he does not.

    Photos are mostly flowers.  I took them.

                        

    

24 may, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    Last night was ok.  But my stress continues.  The things causing it continue.  A sense of loss.  No common sense in life.

    Was going to put flowers on graves today but it looked like a better chance of rain today than tomorrow.  They lied.  Strong storm now just NE of us.  Nary a drop here.  Of course.

    Just no energy today.  Glad I cancelled today.  Day was uneventful.  Of course no texts or calls from anyone.  I am scared to try to talk to who I usually do.  Get tired of being ignored.  A solitary life.  Everyone else has people in their lives, I have few.  The longer I sit alone, the worse it is.  And that worries me.

    Photos are flowers.

                      

 

    

24 may, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    Took a pill last night.  Slept good.  Should do it every night.  Weather is ok.  No rain here of course.  The wheat is just awful here.  I have not dared to ask my nephew how his is.  Too scared.  Hate when a man cries!! (-;

    Worked at the Old Mill today.  The photos I copied today are from MY 8th grade class.  Awesome.  There are 2 boys & one girl I am clueless who they are.  And one teacher.  Someone will know.  I made a copy of each one.  Will share later with my classmates.  There were so many great memories,  fun memories, & sad memories.  Hard to look at some photos & know how awful their lives turned out.  Glad we cannot look ahead.  Saw my best 2 best friends, my fave dance partner, my 2 cousins.  Of course there was one teacher I hated & even as a mother I disliked him.  And a couple of classmates I did not care for.  We had one guy from Germany.  And one girl who was retarded.  Bad word now.  And we were mean to her.  Sad for her & us.  It was good & sometimes overwhelming.

    It really helps to be with people.  It can be dangerous to sit alone for many days in a row.  I have read about it.  And it does scare me.  But when there is no one to call or see, what to do.  I feel helpless.  Every one is so busy with more important things than me.  I did get a cool invite today.  Hope it happens.

    Weather was mostly cloudy.  Maybe rain tomorrow.  Time will tell.  Maybe help the fall crops.

    Photos today are from Sweden & snowy.  My mood last night when I downloaded them.  More flower photos tomorrow.  Took photos today.  Actually found some in my driveway.  Never been there before.  Nice.  Some cool ones at the Mill.