07/2025 - Sábado the 26th - JOURNEY

 

We were married in Minneapolis KS.  Midafternoon.  Lived in an apartment in Salina.  Mom promised me a reception but there was never anything done for us.  Maybe had one shower of classmates.  Last time I saw them.  They all went to college or moved away.  Really not friends with any of my classmates.  Decided I won't help with my class reunions or attend.  They are all friends.  I am not part of them.

Today's Name Day:  Jasmine, Jesper

The only Jesper I know of is a Swedish golfer.  Have a cousin Jasmine.

    I had no sleep last night.  I tried.  And failed.  Had a couple of hours before lunch & a nap this afternoon.  Too much on my mind today.  Good memories.  Bad memories.

    Today would have been Willie's & my 59th wedding anniversary.  For the most part no one ever remembered it.  Mom always did.  Her two sisters in Denver always did.  And one Denver cousin always did.  But Mom & my aunts are long gone.  My cousin has forgotten this year.  She has a lot on her plate.  We were almost always harvesting wheat so we rarely celebrated.  No celebration or remembrance this year.  If I had not posted our photo no one would have remembered.  Should have taken me out to eat or something.

    I remember all our many, many trips to Vegas.  I remember Willie driving a semi hauling cattle or grain.  I went as often as I could.  Love riding with him.   We rarely took a real vacation but we went away for weekends sometimes.  Wichita or Kansas City.  Miss getting away.  It rarely happens now.  Never KC.  Wichita for doctor appointment.  Always alone.  No one to ride with me.  We did take a couple of Colorado trips that were vacations.  Not often.  Love Colorado.  No one to go with now.  A few years ago I did ask someone close to me to ride with but all I got was being ignored.  No answer.  Same as a NO.  Never asked again.  Never will.  MM would like to take me away but with 2 live in kids he has no time.

    The last few years of our marriage was not good.  Willie had dementia.  It was much worse than I realised & started much earlier than I was aware of.  People knew but no one talked to me.  And at same time he became an alcoholic.  I am sure there were times he came home but had no clue who I was.  He deserved much better.  So did I.  I dealt with all that alone.  Kids were there but already planning to take the farm away from me to keep just for them.  Not a good time.

    Hot today.  No more rain until next midweek.  Tomorrow is super hot.  🔥.  House is hot today.  Awful.

    Short message from JL & MM.  A photo was liked by CW.

    Been trying new microwave meals.  Get tired of the same ones all the time.  Chicken with pasta.  Chicken with mashed taters.  Beef with mashed taters.  There are others on my list.

    Photos are some flowers, some drawings.

Dreaming.......

07/2025 - Miércoles the 09th - JOURNEY

 

Today's Name Day:  Jörgen, Örjan

    Had an ok day.  I am sort of at the end of my rope.  Just tired.  And feeling too alone.  I did sleep ok.  I am glad.

    Worked today at the Old Mill.  Had a chance to talk with AP alone.  We talk politics.  LL was away at a meeting.  She helped me with names on photos today.

    I got done with the Old Political Mugs photos.  Grabbed another handful of photos to work on.  And lordy are they work!!  Most are from the capitol in Topeka with Lindsborg students who worked for different politicians as aides. Tons of names.  I can now spell one of our former governor's last name.  These will take forever.  Fun though!!

    Supper was Mexican.  And ice cream dessert.  And they were swamped with customers!!!  Great!!  When I was ready to pay MA knew I was ready but I can read his face.  He was not ready to take my money!!  He let me know when he was ready!  He is the best!!  Supper was flautas.

    Home now.  Heard from MM twice.  Will see him tomorrow.  Hoping his new meds will improve his life.

    Tonight I just feel nothing.  Just blah. When I left work another friend on the historical board was working the upstairs desk.  She asked where I was last night.  I totally spaced out our board meeting & program.   I was so tired & worried I spaced it out completely.  She said they were worried.  I do have a phone but no one called.  And no one else mentioned I was missing last night.  Will text her to call next time.  I always let someone know if I will be absent.  What if I needed help or something???  Feeling alone again like few care.

    Today I did have one friend check on me to see if I was ok & recovered from my night without sleep.  Made my day.  Don't feel quite as alone.    

    Weather was miserable.  I saw 96F in my car.  Humidity was awful.  Hotter tomorrow.

    Today is CF, grandson's birthday.  Several all in a row.  Daughter that I do not contact.  And granddaughter I rarely hear from.  Will send a card.  Probably doesn't care.

    Lunch out tomorrow.  I look forward to thursdays.

    Photos are all collages.  I played yesterday.

Cinder was cuddling the minute I got home.  She misses me.  Kisse was close also. 

I wish!!!!

05/2025 Tisdag the 27th - Wandering & Capturing Mome

 

Today's Name Day:  Beda, Blenda

I knew ladies with these names.  Friends of Willie had a grandmother names Blenda.

    Another quiet day at home alone.  Did hear from MM.  Says he is feeling better.  Maybe he will text with me now.

    Stayed cold again.  House must have been too cool yesterday.  After my nap I carried out many bags of trash.  In & out the front door.  Not one cat came to see what I was doing.  Not until I had supper.  Just turned on my room heater.  Feels better now.

    Another cloudy, foggy, misty, cool day.  Temp was around 60.  Perfect.  Love days like this.

    Had a long chat with CF yesterday.  Nothing today.  Maybe he did not like something I wrote,  Had nothing to do with him though.  Sometimes the truth hurts.

    Again the south Kansas got rains up to 6".  Must be nice.  We don't get mentioned as doing poorly.  Just ignored.  Might get a mere mention with not all of Kansas got rain.  Places need more.  They never say where.

    Photos are mostly flowers from my memories..  I took most of them.  They are ok.

Soon.

Wonderful area in town with lots of flowers.  Nothing this year.  Drought won. 😔

05/2025 Måndag the 26th - Wandering & Capturing Moments

 

Photo is appropriate in the rest of Kansas but not here.

Today's Name Day:  Vilhelmina, Vilma

Knew at least one Wilma.

    I got next to no sleep last night.  Tired today.  Have had rain.  Southern & western Kansas have gotten up to 4 inches or more of rain.  I got a measely half inch.  We always get left out around here.

    I have many bags of trash to take out but it rained most of the day.  I gave up to nap.  But woke up early & rain has stopped for now.  Carried the bags out.  Great!!!  Knocked my blood sugar down but had a snack.  Should be ok.

    Just read that in Liverpool England there was a parade for the Liverpool soccer team in the Premier League victory parade.  It was an open top bus victory parade.  A car ploughed in to the parade & crowd.  The car sped up before he hit the crowd.  How sad.  The driver was arrested.  I love soccer so extra sad for me.  Unknown if anyone was injured or not.  Too soon.

    Think the Memorial Day events took place today.  Good.

    Heard from CF.  Nice family time for him.  I cannot remember times with family.  Too many years.  No family time with Mom's family.  There are gatherings but we are never included.  And I cannot be included in Willie's family stuff.  Makes me sad.  There is one person who has caused a lot troublel on both sides.

    I am glad Willie's grave is not vandalized.  Same person does that too with a helper.

    Stayed really cool today.  In the 50s & sort of foggy with rain.  My favorite weather.  Wish it would happen more often & forget those awful 90s days.  Hot weather makes me feel sick.

    There is a fly irritating me while I key.  I have bug spray but he won't sit still long enough.

    I even have supper planned.  Mac & cheese.  Love it!!

    Photos are a mix.  Nothing special.

This is a photo of an old old building that was in my family.  The Fair Store.  I need to find our more info about it.  Part of Trains Brothers in it.  Sold hardware & implements.  Does not exist any more.  Near where Mom grew up.