30 april, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

                    

    Nice night last night & cooler today.  Only 66F today & 41F last night.  Slept well.

    Cinder was in part of the night.  Something drove Nico wild during the night.  He barked out the window.  No idea what he hears, or smells, or sees.  He does this once in a while.  But right after Cinder went out he started again.  I got worried.  I went to the porch & called her.  She shot out of under the house, went around the car & came up to the door & inside.  Something was scaring her too.

    I forgot to mention yesterday that I saw a family of parents & 2-3 kids by a corner.  They needed money for food & rent.  Not sure what country they are from but not Hispanic.  Look like from the Mideast maybe.  I gave them some money.  It made me feel good.  I hope it helped.  If it was a scam, that is on them.  I could not ignore.  Hope they have a good life here.

    I stayed home today.  Cancelled supper tonight.  Just not up to it.  I could have gone but I could not have eaten there.  Better to stay home.

    Sat outside with Nico several times.  Very nice.  He enjoyed it out.  More time outside coming this week.

    One of the reasons I hate summer has started.  Moths.  I cannot turn on my porch light.  It gets full of moths.  Then they get in the house.  Kisse goes wild chasing them & things get turned over or knocked down.  I cannot turn on my room lamp because it attracts moths.  No fun!!  They fly near my face & the bed.  So we live in darkness in the evenings.  I leave the living room light on all night.  It helps.

    Might get out of the house briefly tomorrow.  I hope.  Nothing exciting.

    Several places I order from have asked if I want to opt out of Mother's Day emails.  I chose to.  I am no longer a mother.  Sad but true.  It upsets me.  It is their loss.

    Photos today are a mix.  Today or tomorrow is Halfoween.  New to me.  But I have a graphic!  Must be prepared!  April ends today.  Winter is closer!!

                    

29 april, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    I am just sad today.  I knew that I would never be part of my granddaughter's family forever, but I miss them.  And I miss her.  But they have real family & no time for me.  She got nice weather for her wedding.  I will survive.  Wish her happiness & just to have one wedding not a string of them. 

    Sort of a cool night last night but far too warm today.  I saw 82F here today.  Had a light breeze too.  Sat out several times with Nico.  Cinder was asleep.  She is out now & turned down an invitation to come in.

    There is a crack in the cement of my carport.  I have antlions that live there.  They fascinate me.  They burrow backwards into the ground to make a funnel type trap in the dirt.  They lay in wait there for for ants, etc. to fall into it.  And then they are eaten.  Found a few great vidoes.  Glad they are tiny & harmless to pets & people!!  I like to watch & see how many there are.  The most I have seen is 5.  I actually saw one funnel being built today.  Very cool.  They only live for 25 days.  Obviously I need to get a life!!

    Took a nice nap & felt exhausted tonight.  So took another one.  Probably wedding blues.  My Swedish genes will help me survive.

    The farm is sure lonesome here.  Most of the cattle & calves have gone to pasture for the summer.  How I miss them.  Little ones are so fun to watch play.  Hope there is enough grass to eat in our drought.

    Our niece shared a video being on top of the hill in Willie's pasture.  I remember being there but years ago.  When his mind went he quit taking me anywhere for any reason.  But I remember.  Those days are over.  I will never be there again.  So glad I sold the farm to our nephew.  He will make our name one to be proud of.  Great guy!

    I went to Salina for groceries at Dillons.  They are the best.  Worth the drive.  Just hate carrying it all in!!  Soo heavy!!

    Tomorrow is May Day.  As a kid I remember making little baskets of flowers & hanging on our neighbour's door.  I do not every remember getting a May basket as a kid or adult.  I maybe did but have no recollection of it.  A cool thing to do.

    Photos are some I took.

                    

    

28 april, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    No sleep last night.  In my mind I was not in a good place.  Better today.  I had no idea that being alone at the twilight of my life would be so hard.  Sooooo hard.  And so alone.  Where is my support group?

    This is a sad weekend for me.  The little girl who called me Grandma for years is getting married.  I was never even told she was engaged.  I have not seen her in years & she lives here.  I used to ask her to go out to eat, but she had no time.  At least not for me.  I have not been included in anything.  So I am not going.  I have to be careful of what I eat, I do not know anyone there or who she is marrying.  I cannot walk far or stand for long times.  Just easier to stay home.  And no one will miss me at all.  But I am still hurt & upset.  Oh well.  Only my problem.  No one to give me support as usual.

    I did sleep this afternoon.  Helped how I feel.  And I managed not to cry anymore.

    Love the weather.  Very light rain all night.  Cloudy & cool.  My kind of weather.  If only it would last.  Not in Kansas.  Heat & humidity will arrive soon I am sure.

    JR & I were going to eat supper at Crown & Rye.  What a joke!!  There was not a parking spot anywhere near them.  I forgot tomorrow is college graduation!!  Tons of people in town.  We ate at China instead.  Awesome Chinese food.  I have enough left for a good meal tomorrow noon.  Soooo good.  I love Sweet & Sour Chicken & egg drop soup.  Need to eat there more often.

    China is now sold.  The owners are retiring but I heard they have it sold.  And the new owners will have a buffet.  Great!  Easy to run in for a quick noon meal.  Healthy & fresh made food.  No leftovers for days in there.  Safe food to eat.

    All 3 kids in all day.  I think they got along ok  Pretty sure Nico & Cinder were sleeping under my bed.  Kisse had control of the top of the bed.  She was enjoying the blanket by the window.

    Photos are some I took, some I did not but I like them.  I have started adding a winter photo everyday because I like them.

                    

27 april, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    We had light rain/drizzle overnight.  Nice.  Have not bothered to empty my rain gauge.  Ha!!  A minute amount!  Love the weather.  Cloudy, cool, damp is my favorite.  Raining to the west now.  Moving our way??  I can dream!

    I had something to do to day & tomorrow but have cancelled them both.  I just feel "off".  Do not want to be bothered & just stay home.

    Sat outside a couple of times with Nico.  Cinder was inside napping.

    Nico is being a butt tonight.  Mad at me that I am sitting in his spot.  Ha!  He can have it when my blogging is done.  Big baby!

    Not talked or heard from anyone today.  Normal.  A nice message would help how I feel but never happens.  Hard when I can see someone special to me is on FB but ignores me.  Even though he knows I do not feel well.  Oh well.  As long as he is ok & happy is all that is important.

    Photos are old ones.

                    

26 april, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

                    

    Slept ok but set my alarm later than usual.  Made me a bit rushed.  But it was no problem. 

    Today was a work day.  I am on the last book of schools.  Now doing Lindsborg schools.  Love them.  Fun when I recognize people & family.  And fun to see the schools I attended that are now demolished.

    It was a great day for the Mill.  We recieved a check for over $160,000 to help with our restoration.  Awesome.  Then in Topeka a bill was passed honoring our 125th anniversary.  Photos of both.

                    

    JR & I had supper at Jalisco's.  I tried something different.  I liked it but it was too filling.  I shared with Nico.  He loved it!               

    It started lightly raining when I left work.  And it still is raining.  Not amounting to much but I love the cool, moist air.  Been too dry here.

    Photos are from the Mill today.

                    

25 april, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    The weather stayed much warmer last night.  But about the same today.  Mostly cloudy but not a drop of rain.  Love the weatherman on tv.  He was reporting how much rain places would get.  And he said that Salina would get no more.  No More???  We have not had a drop.  Where they really need rain has been getting good rain today.  Won't help much though.  It is reported that the drought will be here for a few years.  Cannot fix it overnight or in one rain.

    I put some butter in the microwave to soften & it got too soft.  I accidentally tipped the plate & spilled some on my nightgown & Nico's head!!  He is looking cool!!!

    Then I got bug stuff for Cinder.  It all went well until just the end & she moved.  Some got on her hair.  She does not smell good.  I feel so guilty.  And she refuses to go outside.  I thought she might roll in the grass but she is not going anywhere.  I am so guilty. 😞

    I was thinking far too much last night.  I am aware that most things I want will never happen, but it really upsets me when someone says that they can make it happen.  And even though I knew when they said it they might have meant it but no matter.  It would never happen.  I get tired of watching others get to do would things I love to do but really want to be with someone.  Just wish others would not offer if they do not mean it.  Something recently happened like that.  It was a super easy thing.  I really thought it would be fine.  Nah.  Not going to happen.  I am not reminding anyone of what they promised.  Just makes me sad.  I need to just go alone & to hell with being with anyone.

    Had an eye doctor's appointment today.  Did not see the doctor.  Just had an eye test.  This happens at least once a year.  Nothing difficult.  Just have to be there.

    I stopped at Arby's & got a beef sandwich, apple turnover, & drink for supper.  Very good.  I want fried chicken & also soup from Olive Garden too.  See how the week goes.

    Photos are old ones.  Mostly mine but not all.

                      

 

24 april, 2023 Wandering & Capturing Moments

    Slept ok this morning & afternoon.  Seeing my eye doctor tomorrow so will take something to help me sleep earlier tonight.  Cinder was in bed near or on me all night.  Very nice.

    Cinder disappeared right before lunch.  I called & called for her but no Cinder.  Odd.  After my nap she showed up.  She was really tired.  So was I.

    There is rain on the radar but we have nothing hitting the ground here.  We have been moved out of the 1 inch of rain to the barely a fourth of an inch of rain.  But rain forecast all week.  Can it change?? And cool.  Love it.

    I had a large package from Amazon delivered this afternoon.  The idiot delivery person never brought it to my porch like always done.  They left it way out away from my house by my driveway.  Really???  They even took a photo of it to show where they delivered it.  I gave them a bad review.  What the hell???  Never have I had that happen before!  I wonder if they simply heaved it out of their window & hurried on.

    Photos are all ones I have taken.  All in sorted in collages.