Sheltering in Place, Mood Of Silence, Day 247....

  Nice weather day. But tomorrow the howling winds return. Love it!! 

Got up early and made it to town for a burger before my therapy. What a joy to walk!! And not look awful. Jalisco's was kind of quiet so MA and I had time to chat a bit. Always nice. And I was lucky enough to get a sweet hug from JG.

Had therapy after lunch. It was good. Told her I had an epiphany about my RA. Then we talked about my kids Always a joyous conversation. It will never be good as long as they cannot be adults. But we talked and laughed and there were no tears.

JS called this evening. Nice to hear from him. Been a long time. We caught up a bit. I enjoyed the call.

I was just out with Nico. Near our yard there was a deer. It never went far. It watched us and heard me talk. So cool. I love having them around.

Texted tonight with a friend. Sweet friend. He said some things that made me think. And to dare to think of what I might want. But Will never have. No need to want, even if I have never had it. I have learned I rarely get what I want.

I worry about the holidays and friends and family. I am grateful there is no family that want to see me over they holidays. Better to be alone. Kansas is now in the Top 10 most dangerous states to visit. Our governor tried to have a mandate to protect us but the politicians in Topeka shot her down. Too many in the country do not care about others. 

Photos are mostly recent ones. Photo of a new book and a page from it that came today. A note from my UPS person. Thought I knew who it was but I was wrong. And 2 older photos --- a castle that was in my family a few generations ago and a building in another small town.

    

Sheltering in Place, Mood Of Silence, Day 233......

 A really busy day. I slept early on but then woke up and could not get back to sleep. Not even on the soffa. I finally gave up and got up at 8am.

 

I got dressed and went to vote. I got lucky and did not have to wait. I think a couple of people did have to wait a short time.

Then I went home to dress and went to town for a burger. Had time to chat with MA. Wished the cook SS a happy birthday (Feliz cumple) and got a hug! Then MA's wife came in and sat with me. Nice to see her.

Then time for my therapy. I gave my therapist a sheet to read that someone wrote and it described me and how I have been/feel my entire life. I was trained from early childhood, young adult, until now to be the mess I am now. I had 2 expert teachers. And I cannot seem to change my feelings and mindset. So inside, I have no peace. And I tell no one. Healthy much??

My therapist always brings her sweet puppy. I got no photos today. I will next week. While she was reading JS called me. He needed me for something but I had no time. I felt so guilty but I think he survived.

Then I met JR2 for coffee at the White Peacock. I had homemade ice cream and tea. And we had a good chat.

Somewhere along the way I lost my billfold. I had it when I voted. But when I got to therapy, I no longer had it in my purse. I emptied my purse in the car but nada. I was so stressed ---- credit card, drivers license, a lot of money after being at the bank. When JR2 and I left the Peacock, I looked under my front seats. THEN. I noticed I had an Arby's bag I was using for trash. Surely not!!!! THERE was my billfold. What a relief!! I yelled to JR2. I called my therapist. I requested to double my meetings as obviously have problems. Hahahah!

Left the kids too long alone today. Nico was a mess!! He was into everything. He could have done that while I was gone but he was voicing his displeasure. Sleeping now. Kisse was trying to climb on the ceiling to catch a bug. Impossible.

 Right now I feel the house shaky and rumbling. Helicopter overhead? I think. We have lots of Air Force traffic here. West of my farm is a bombing range where they practice.

Covid 19 is going nuts here. The county south of us had 67 new cases yesterday. The country north of us had 59 cases yesterday. Today they had to pull the kids from pre-K through 4th grade to home school and the teachers. The high school has 40 kids quarantined. Our college has 90 kids quarantined which is the entire football team. No outside people not allowed at any sports event. I go next to nowhere!!! I want to give a heart felt thanks to those who have allowed this. And that is not any kid or teacher.

Photos follow.

    

Sheltering in Place, Mood Of Silence, Day 224......

 Good but cold day!! A bit warmer than last night but stayed cold all day. No snow here yet. Wichita and KC have some snow. It misted here this noon.

JR and I had lunch at Jalisco. They were so quiet. Maybe the cold kept people home. We do have a new restaurant but it was not open when we got to town.

I took different meds at bedtime last  night. I took my anxiety pill, Tylenol, and pain cream. I actually  had a pain free night.  What a surprise. I can only take one anxiety pill a day. So I am trying a half pill twice a day. A little pain but better than usual. I can live with it. At least I walked more normal. I was ready to get my dad's walker to use. 

I have 2 sparrows who sit each night under my carport roof. Only one is there tonight. Did the female leave? I hope she is ok. Too cold for them here. I will miss them when they are gone. No deer have been here in two days. Or I have not seen them. Do see a skunk often. Do not want it here. I yelled at it last ngiht.  She left then.

Photos are ones I took today.

Sunday, October 18, 2020 Sheltering in Place, Mood Of Silence, Day 217......

 Busy day!! Mostly good. Started my day in Salina seeing my eye surgeon. My last appointment!! Yay! But on the way there, my car alerted me I had a very low tire. I had groceries to pick up but cancelled.

I called Assaria and they had time to see me. Got my tired fixed in short order. Had a nail in it.

Had NO sleep last night so I took a nap at home.

Later I picked up my brother. He gathered my trash to put in the bins. Then we ate at Jalisco's. They were quiet so had lots of time to chat with MA. JS came in later and we chatted and took photos! A good evening.

Stayed pretty cool today. Chances for rain in a couple of days. Not holding my breath. Slight warm up but then cold again.

Photos mostly from today. The 3 kittens is an old photo. That is Kisse in the middle with her 2 siblings. Both of them did not survive the great outdoors. They were both sweet. Fun to have 3 little ones come running to see me!

      

Sheltering in Place, Mood Of Silence, Day 216......

 Mostly a good day. Very cold with the strong winds. High in the 40s. Took the house forever to warm up this afternoon. Hard to crawl out of my warm, cosy bed!! 

Lunch at Jalisco's. Yesterday and friday they were swamped with business. Today very quiet. That was ok. Had time to chat with the help. I talked JS into removeing his mask for just a second. I took a photo of him from SnapChat where they alter your face. I sure giggled! He said he will never remove his mask again!!! I do that to my brother too. He never giggles as much as I do! And today I picked on Nico also. He is so cute!!

Stopped at the cemetery and visited Willie. I talk like he can hear me. Went home feeling empty. Just not right. Had 2 friends I visited also. One has 2 new grandbabies. I always talk about them near him. I drove home in tears. I managed not to cry yesterday but did a little when I got home last night. Best to grieve alone. No need to bore anyone else even if I might need someone.

I had fun playing with photos today. Took photos in one local yard. Great display. Will have to share in the future. There is a couple here today. Also today are some snow photos from 7 years ago. A friend who lives in Rapid City SD has shared photos today. They had snow. Sooo jealous!!