We were married in Minneapolis KS. Midafternoon. Lived in an apartment in Salina. Mom promised me a reception but there was never anything done for us. Maybe had one shower of classmates. Last time I saw them. They all went to college or moved away. Really not friends with any of my classmates. Decided I won't help with my class reunions or attend. They are all friends. I am not part of them.
Today's Name Day: Jasmine, Jesper
The only Jesper I know of is a Swedish golfer. Have a cousin Jasmine.
I had no sleep last night. I tried. And failed. Had a couple of hours before lunch & a nap this afternoon. Too much on my mind today. Good memories. Bad memories.
Today would have been Willie's & my 59th wedding anniversary. For the most part no one ever remembered it. Mom always did. Her two sisters in Denver always did. And one Denver cousin always did. But Mom & my aunts are long gone. My cousin has forgotten this year. She has a lot on her plate. We were almost always harvesting wheat so we rarely celebrated. No celebration or remembrance this year. If I had not posted our photo no one would have remembered. Should have taken me out to eat or something.
I remember all our many, many trips to Vegas. I remember Willie driving a semi hauling cattle or grain. I went as often as I could. Love riding with him. We rarely took a real vacation but we went away for weekends sometimes. Wichita or Kansas City. Miss getting away. It rarely happens now. Never KC. Wichita for doctor appointment. Always alone. No one to ride with me. We did take a couple of Colorado trips that were vacations. Not often. Love Colorado. No one to go with now. A few years ago I did ask someone close to me to ride with but all I got was being ignored. No answer. Same as a NO. Never asked again. Never will. MM would like to take me away but with 2 live in kids he has no time.
The last few years of our marriage was not good. Willie had dementia. It was much worse than I realised & started much earlier than I was aware of. People knew but no one talked to me. And at same time he became an alcoholic. I am sure there were times he came home but had no clue who I was. He deserved much better. So did I. I dealt with all that alone. Kids were there but already planning to take the farm away from me to keep just for them. Not a good time.
Hot today. No more rain until next midweek. Tomorrow is super hot. 🔥. House is hot today. Awful.
Short message from JL & MM. A photo was liked by CW.
Been trying new microwave meals. Get tired of the same ones all the time. Chicken with pasta. Chicken with mashed taters. Beef with mashed taters. There are others on my list.
Photos are some flowers, some drawings.
Dreaming.......
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