National Vinyl Record Day
I have many vinyl records that most likely will not play anymore. They are very old.
Today's Name Day: Klara
Today is not as it should be. I got no sleep last night. I had plans but cancelled. Tried to nap but could not. Huh??? Nothing worked right today.
Cinder stayed close to me last night. Maybe she knew the day was lost & I was in pain.. And she came back in for nap time. She slept a long time. Lucky her.
Have had tears off & on. Too many thoughts of the past & a totally failed future. It was pointed out to me I am a failure & never come through on things I need to do.. Did not help my mood, Like I do not know I am a failure. A tough day, but only for me.
Plans for tomorrow. Visiting with a friend got cancelled. Maybe next week sometime. Hope to make a short trip to pick up meds. Time will tell. Will be good to get out & see some places new.
Got some photos of some people I love. But I know I will never live long enough that they will love me again. I am sure their heads have been filled with awful things about me. Some true, some lies. And I saw wedding photos today of relatives. I never felt wanted there. They only put a large photo in FB saying if you want to be there let us know. No invitations, Not part of their lives now. I am sure no one even missed me. Sad to have lost so many family members. Not through death though.
I miss having friends to go have coffee with. I can go but always sit alone. Even if I know some there. Used to have friends but I guess I did not deserve them. All have moved on now.
I might quit ordering food for meals. If I do not cancel a timeline of meals they pick for you. I do not like that. Guess I will try to keep up for a while.
Sorry for being a downer today. I should have not blogged at all. Would have been better.
Long day of no texts or mails. But last night JS texted me before he went into work. We talked for at least 30 minutes. And set a time for me to call today before he goes to sleep. We had a nice visit. Will call again tomorrow. I miss him more than words can say. Wish he was back here again. He always watched out for me & did nice things for me. Not used to that any more.
Friend in Sweden wrote a long post about his kitty that was like a mother to all his pets & family. But she is old & in pain. He knew when he said goodbye this morning it would be the last time he would see her. The vet would be on his way. Lots of thoughts of Nico.
Photos are just from Main Street yesterday in Lindsborg,
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