National Pizza with the Works Except Anchovies Day
Today's Name Day is Kristian
I was not able to blog yesterday. Sorry. I got little to no sleep Friday night. I cried most of the night over Nico. I have so many guilt feelings that my poor choices is causing him to be ill & to die.
Then I got word that MM was much worse. Had had been sick for 3 days ---- severe pain, throwing up, no food, no meds. He went to the ER in town. Then they transferred him by ambulance to Salina. That was the last straw. KW took the kids to Wichita to their grandma & I went to the hospital to sit with MM. The two little ones greeted me with hugs & love you's before leaving.. At least 5 times. Sure needed those!!
I just could not function last night to do anything. I managed my Spanish lesson so I do not lose how many lessons I have done. Guess it does not matter but that was all I did.
No sleep last night. On Saturday my hip quit hurting. I was able to walk to the ER with ease. And later back to my car.
Went to bed. Hip pain again & no sleep. I cancelled today. In pain, hard to walk, & super depression.
I should have forced myself to at least eat out tonight. But I just did not have it in me. I want to see MM so bad but KW is with him & they both write me often.
I tried to nap today but could not. I changed the blanket on the sofa which is nice. I spent the afternoon editing photos & sorting photos I have. It was sort of relaxing. Did not cook for supper but that is ok. Just for me so what does it matter. If I lived in town I could have ordered in. If I just had someone who could bring me food but god forbid there be someone for me. I have only me to depend on. Refused to ask KW. Too far to drive. It is really tough to lose most family & have few friends. Alone is not good or fun. And, of course, no one but MM offered help. No one else for me.
Weather is ok. We had a little rain yesterday morning. Did not get much but it smelled nice.
Tonight I set up a new diffuser. I am using the essential oil Autumn Eternity Blend. Smells nice.
This afternoon I was a long program about Normandy & all the new information that they are finding. Very interesting.
I apologize for whining about my life. I try to stay quiet. I learned fast that when Willie died I became invisible to all of his friends. That has not changed. Nor will it. And with several chronic diseases, your learn fast that no one cares or wants to know. So I try to keep quiet. In the car yesterday on the way to the hospital. I actually did some yelling. 😵 Needed to do that!! Have to do that more often!!! Hope no one could read my lips!!
Photos are mostly from out here. Might be an odd one or two. I will try to be in a better mood tomorrow.
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