St. Nicholas Day
Name Day is Nikolaus
Today is going to be a quiet day of resting. In reality, I have cancelled my entire day. I had a doctor's appointment in Wichita. But during the night I got sick. It was nothing major but sick none the less. I decided I dared not drive to the city. I felt sort of ok this morning but who knows if that will last. Pretty sure it was something I ate even though I have eaten it many times with no problem. Bodies do what they want.
Cancelled my dr appointment & got bad news. My doctor is leaving there at the end of the month. Damn. I will miss her. I would follow her if I knew where she was going.
I do not go to church. I have formed my opinions of religion from reading & watching informative shows on religion by people who have researched & studied it all. I no longer believe any of it,. I am very much a spiritual. I believe in what my body and nature tell me. (I once learned the hard way when I ignored my feelings. Still suffering from that decision. It will never be over.) There is a reason I should not travel today. I know the wind is supposed to blow & maybe get worse as the day goes on. Maybe more so in Wichita. So today I rest & relax & follow what I feel.
Took a pill at bedtime & slept great. So did the fur kids. Maybe if I am relaxed, they are also. Nico was on the bed either under or on top the covers. Other than moments of feeling sick, it was a good night.
The bulls were near the yard this morning. The cattle were not here. Pretty pond again.
Trying not to nap. Stay awake & get a little work done. Not much though. Nico just cuddled with me. I sat & cried & apologized to him for being a bad Mom to him. So much guilt.
Got news yesterday someone I care a lot about is really sick. There is a GoFundMe account for him. Started by his brother. We became friends when he was in college here. And he never left. I am devastated about him. First thing I did was to donate. Then I texted him. Told him whatever he needed to just ask. I would be there. He is one of my favorite people. I am going to see him tomorrow. I am sure I will cry all the way home. Hope treatment goes well for him & saves him. Hope I can be a support to him & a help to him.
I gathered some trash & bagged it The boxes outside got blown around some. Stupid wind. Worry about trash on a calmer day. And hope a dry day.
Photos are all Christmas themed. Wish I could have a real Christmas. But life moves on & there is no Christmas for me. Wish I was not so alone. But maybe I get what I deserve. There should be a large gathering for people who are alone in the world. Would be good for all of us.
The man in the Christmas Market is JR. I created it. Good photo.
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