Lunch with my friend J at Jalisco's. We exchanged some gifts. So nice. Great food. The wait staff were all fun.
Came home and took a nap with Nico. He was cold in the back of the house. Under the covers he went! I am still cold. Turned up the heat but still cold. At least there is no wind outside. That would be brutal!
Christmas has finally hit me. Did get my cards mailed. I realised I have not listened to one Christmas song. And I won't. This year they make me cry. And no celebrations this weekend. Just no family to be with anymore. The family I have left I rarely see or talk to. And sort of the same with my spouse's family. There are family get togethers but we are not included. Never have been. And we are not the only ones left alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Several friends are left alone also. I hate when it happens.
I feel really awful for not having a big celebration here. First there is not room here. And the house is in really bad shape. I want no one to come here ever. And no hopes to fix it up. And last, I am in constant pain. It never goes away. My knee will get fixed in March. But the rest of me won't. Hurts to stand. Not sure why the pain. Hope my doctor figures it out. Hard for me to realise that there are things I just cannot do anymore. Such is life. The hardest is that there are those who have no understanding of constant pain and do not seem to care. Aside from a few friends, I deal alone.
Enough sad stuff. Just wanted to explain things. And maybe some will be more understanding of those who hurt or are alone. Be kind and caring whenever possible.
All my memories are special but making this weekend a difficult one. I will survive. I always do.
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